We’re at that time in the season where everything is getting really serious. Every point is crucial, so it’s time for the big players to stand up and be counted.
We enjoyed some fantastic individual performances this week, so when working out the latest power rankings, we needed some special inspiration.
For week 20, we’re calling on the Golden Globe winners.
“I know how to play real music, not none of this old Jug Band s**t.” (Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom)
Forgetting all the old s**t he used to know, Bale has transformed himself in the last few weeks. Instead of charging around the field, he’s been spraying passes around like it’s nobody’s business.
He tore Burnley apart this week, picking up two goals and adding another assist in what his best performance since returning to Tottenham.
“I don’t need no mic! Can y’all hear me?” (Judas and the Black Messiah)
At the start of the season, Everton were all about Dominic Calvert-Lewin – but Richarlison has made himself heard recently.
He found the back of the net against both Southampton and West Brom, and he now has goals in each of his last four Premier League games. Not bad.
“Momo, use your words. Language is the greatest weapon. There’s no need to stick a pencil in someone’s throat.” (The Life Ahead)
Atalanta’s greatest weapon is Luis Muriel… even though he’s not actually a regular starter.
With one goal and two assists this week, Muriel climbed to the top of both the scoring and assist charts. He’s been involved in 22 goals, despite starting just ten games.
“That’s a lot of case files.” (The Mauritanian)
That’s a lot of goals.
Giakoumakis found the back of the net this week and now has 23 goals in as many games in his debut season in the Eredivisie.
Somehow, his VVV-Venlo are just one place above the relegation zone, coincidentally with a goal difference of -23. Behind Giakoumakis, their second highest scorer has just four.
“I don’t like the quiet. It’s so noisy.” (The United States vs. Billie Holiday)
A quiet week for Isak, whose run of six straight games on the score sheet came to an end at the hands of Real Madrid.
“Maybe when I die, my friends will gather around the fire, and toss a rock into the fire in memory of me.” (Nomadland)
If he wants the jokes about his form against the top six to disappear, he’s going to have to step it up next week against… Manchester City. Good luck.
“It’s a revolution, Tom. We may have to hurt somebody’s feelings.” (The Trial of the Chicago 7)
Silva is doing his best to lead an anti-Lewandowski revolution in the Bundesliga.
The Pole’s closest competition for the Torjagerkanone bagged his 19th goal of the season this week against Werder Bremen, extending his run of goals to five straight appearances.
“Very nice!” (Borat Subsequent Moviefilm)
Having bagged 14 goals in the league this season, Moreno opened his Europa League tally with two goals in Villarreal’s 2-1 win over RB Salzburg.
His 89th-minute winner was nice, but Moreno’s opener was incredible. One Cruyff turn sat down the goalkeeper, who went flying into his own defender as well. Chef’s kiss.
“How can I just abandon her?” (I Care A Lot)
Punished for a poor run of discipline, Mbappe was hit with a one-game suspension and left PSG to fend for themselves against Bordeaux.
As a parting gift, he fired home two goals in a 4-0 win over Dijon, but PSG looked fairly mortal without him in the Bordeaux game.
“What did you name your van?”
“Oh, that is very strong.”
“She is.” (Nomadland)
Haaland is very strong. There it is. There’s your insight. You’re welcome.
On the pitch, however, he wasn’t particularly strong this week. He managed an assist against strugglers Arminia Bielefeld, before drawing a blank as Dortmund progressed through to the DfB-Pokal semi final.
“Working hard, playing hard.” (I Care A Lot)
Doing his utmost to ensure this season isn’t a complete train wreck for Juventus, Ronaldo netted in both his side’s games this week, ensuring they retain their front-row seat for Inter’s title charge.
He remains clear at the top of the Serie A scoring charts, surpassing the 20-goal mark for the 12th consecutive season.
“I found a new book which only tells the truth. It’s called Facebook. I learn so many facts there.” (Borat Subsequent Moviefilm)
Sancho is back. Fact. Go tell the middle-aged mums on Facebook.
The winger managed two goals and an assist in two games this week, including the winner in the cup quarter-final, and he is starting to look like the £100m player he’s supposed to be again.
“I was born to play.” (Soul)
Nobody on this planet makes scoring goals look as easy as Lewandowski, who added two more to his ridiculous tally this week.
He terrorised Koln in Bayern Munich‘s 5-1 victory, and he now has four goals in three games. It’s not quite as good as the 12-in-nine run that just ended, but it’s a good start.
“Call this number. Speak to my mother. Tell her, I don’t know, something nice.” (The Mauritanian)
Messi finally has something positive to write home about!
A change in tactic saw Barcelona pick up two wins over Sevilla this week, and Messi contributed a goal and an assist in the first to build some much-needed momentum for their Copa del Rey comeback.
In terms of La Liga, Messi has now scored in his last eight games, finding the back of the net no fewer than 12 times.
“You done seen the rest, now I’m gonna show you the best.” (Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom)
What’s so scary about Lukaku is there just doesn’t seem to be a way to stop him.
The Inter hitman has seemingly turned into an elite creator recently, bagging more assists in the last four league games than he had in the previous 37, but he’s still firing home the goals too.
Inter are pushing for the league title, and with Lukaku in this form, how could you bet against them?