Paige DeSorbo Is Summer House’s Season 8 Confessional Queen: Her Best Quotes

Paige DeSorbo has always had funny one-liners on Summer House, but she earned herself the title of confessional queen thanks to her season 8 quotes.

Whether it was trolling her boyfriend, Craig Conover, for not knowing what a rigatoni noodle looked like or spitting the truth about adulting, Paige, 31, was easily one of this season’s fan-favorites.

Unfortunately, not all of her quips were received well by her costars. In fact, Danielle Olivera hinted at drama between the pair over Paige’s jokes during the season 8 reunion trailer, which dropped on Tuesday, May 28.

“Your confessionals, you think are super funny,” Danielle, 36, said in the video, to which Paige fired back, “They are hilarious.”

Danielle, however, didn’t agree, claiming, “They are damaging.” Despite Danielle’s negative feedback, Paige stayed true to herself throughout season 8 and made viewers laugh at her realness.

Need proof? Scroll down for some of Paige’s most iconic quotes from Summer House:

Founding Father

After meeting season 8 newbie West Wilson during the premiere Paige told the girls in the kitchen, “I feel like West Conrad Wilson signed the Declaration of Independence.” The whole room broke out into laughter.

Paige then revealed that she “always” tells her boyfriend Craig, “He looks like he came off the Mayflower,” due to his own appearance.

Ciao, Craig!

During the same episode, which aired February, Paige confessed that Craig “Googled, ‘What is rigatoni’ when we were in Italy.” His reason? “He couldn’t remember the shape of it,” Paige said.

Gabby Prescod declared, “That’s not even a niche noodle!” to which Paige responded, “No, it’s not niche!”

You Sound Like You’re From London

During one of Paige’s first confessionals of the season, she teased Craig for his wild ideas. “A couple weeks ago, he told me he was buying a soccer team in London,” Paige shared of the Southern Charm star. “The man watched [Welcome to] Wrexham one time now all of a sudden, he’s Ryan Reynolds. I’m over here trying to be my best Blake Lively, but I have concerns.”

So American

“I love a f–king hotdog,” Paige said straight-faced during episode 2. “Nothing says 4th of July like a hotdog.”

Double Standard

After Jesse Solomon hit on Paige during episode 3, she told the cameras how she feels about men trying to hook up with her while she’s in a relationship. “I wouldn’t say Craig is a jealous person, but he has his moments,” Paige revealed. “I don’t ever want Craig thinking there’s a guy who likes my girlfriend.”

When it comes to how Paige handles Craig getting hit on, the tables are turned. “Now, if Craig told me that a girl touched his leg at a club, I’d get my ass on a plane and I’d be in Charleston in two hours,” she said.

Witchy Ways

“If we were dating for like six months and then I told you I believed that I’m a witch, would you stay with me? Or would you break up with me?” Paige asked Craig during his episode 5 visit.

Craig said it “wouldn’t bother” him and he’d actually “think it’s cool.” Paige, however, didn’t feel the same way. “If you were a witch, I’d break up with you,” she quipped, to which Craig asked, “Can boys be witches?”

Banana Boat

During Craig’s episode 6 cameo, the duo gave fans an inside look into their romance. “You love bed bananas,” Craig said, giving Paige a literal banana before breakfast. “I love a different kind of bed banana,” Paige joked.

Lifetime Drama

Throughout season 8, Lindsay Hubbard and Carl Radke butted heads as they prepared to get married in fall 2023. The tension was obvious to everyone, including Paige. (Us Weekly confirmed in August 2023 that Carl, 39, called off his engagement with Lindsay, 37.)

“I get that relationships are hard work. But at some point, punch out!” Paige told the cameras when speaking about her friends’ dynamic. “I think Lindsay deep down knows that she shouldn’t marry this guy, but I think she wants this fairy tale.”

Paige thought that Lindsay must be saying to herself, “He was my friend for so long and I got f–ked over by so many guys and then we met.” Paige confessed that the fairy tale “sounds beautiful and I would so watch that on Lifetime. I really would. But this is real life, and you guys don’t like each other.”

Looking in the Mirror

During episode 9, Danielle claimed that Paige was leading Craig on in their relationship since they weren’t engaged or living in the same city. The accusations didn’t sit well with Paige.

“Danielle stands on a very moral high ground. That she can tell everyone when they’re making the wrong decision or acting poorly,” Paige claimed during a confessional. “But when you turn the mirror over … where did she go? [She] runs right away. I’ve watched her do it to every single girl that I’ve ever lived with.”

Paige later confessed that she was done hanging with Danielle after befriending her in summer 2022 during Lindsay and Danielle’s fallout. “Please call Lindsay and get her back here to take her friend. We made a mistake. We don’t want her anymore,” Paige quipped. “This has been too much.”

Boss Babe, Party of 1

The following episode, Paige called out Danielle for being mean to Gabby and claiming Gabby was “self-sabotaging” in her dating life. Danielle argued that “as a founder and CEO I always try to understand people’s personalities,” which made Paige confused.

“Your friend is crying in the bathroom and you’re talking about being a CEO and founder … of what? Literally, of what?” Paige told the cameras, trolling Danielle’s delayed app launch.

Bridal Shower Faux Pas

Paige was the only female Summer House star that didn’t attend Lindsay’s bridal shower, which played out during a May episode. Paige, for her part, had a reason for not showing up.

“Lindsay, what an olive branch to invite me to your bridal shower. I don’t take it lightly,” Paige said in her confessional. “I feel a very big shift in Lindsay’s attitude and demeanor toward everyone. I mean, dare I say she’s being very nice.”

She added: “But excuse me, Ms. Manners, I’m not going to someone’s bridal shower that I’m not invited to the wedding. Come on.”

Ride or Die

Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula argued during episode 13 about their future and where to live. After hearing the drama unfold, Paige slammed Kyle, 42, for not having his wife’s back.

“You didn’t even want to compromise on moving. You won’t compromise on anything with her,” Paige claimed. “Let her live in New Jersey and drink her Coronas in the backyard and make a swimsuit line and let it fail. Who cares? Let her be happy!”

Comfort Queen

While attending Danielle’s app launch party in episode 14, Lindsay and Paige got real about comfort. “Oh, I love opportunities to get off my feet,” Lindsay told Paige, to which she responded, “No, I love sitting.”

During that same episode, Paige revealed that she surprised herself at her level of adulting. “I can’t believe I washed my face last night. I was so proud of myself,” she told Amanda while lying in bed. “Uh, an adult. A true, true adult.”

Wedding Woes

The season 8 finale, which aired on Thursday, May 30, showed Carl and Lindsay’s breakup. After learning the news, Paige joined the girls to talk about what happened and console Lindsay.

“He did you a favor, please. You didn’t want to marry that man anyway. Let him go,” Paige told Lindsay before going in for a group hug. Paige then whispered in Lindsay’s ear, “This is what you get for not inviting me to your wedding.”

Lindsay claimed she was “trying” to get her on the list and Paige laughed it off saying, “It’s OK, I’ll get the next one.”

To close out the episode, Paige proved that she did have Lindsay’s back despite not making the guest list. “He did you a favor. Let him go,” Paige reiterated. “In a year you could be married with a baby with the love of your life. You deserve way more happiness than that.”

Summer House’s season 8 reunion airs on Bravo Thursday, June 6, at 9 p.m. ET. Part 2 airs Thursday, June 13, at 9 p.m. ET.