Safia Middleton-Patel had just had the ‘best month of her life’ but was at her lowest ebb. At the age of just 18, the Manchester United goalkeeper had made her senior debut for Wales against the Philippines.
She was training regularly with United’s first team and had signed her first professional contract. But she realised she had to get help.
‘After my debut for Wales I had a meltdown,’ Middleton-Patel, 19, tells Mail Sport.
‘I hit a brick wall. I couldn’t go outside, I was just down all the time. I was so low that it just didn’t make sense.’
The possibility that she might be autistic had crossed her mind before, but it was not until she reached out to United’s club doctor to get answers that a diagnosis was made.
Safia Middleton-Patel has opened up about her autism diagnosis to Mail Sport
The Manchester United goalkeeper admitted she was struggling mentally
‘I went to the doctor and said “I don’t think I’m normal, I don’t think I’m right, I think there’s something going on with me.”
‘I was struggling mentally in and out of football. I’d been thinking that maybe I was autistic, maybe I wasn’t, and seeing loads of posts on social media.
‘At the time I was thinking “I relate to this, I relate to that. People don’t think the same way as me.”
‘I just thought “I need to reach out for help otherwise I’m not going to make it. It’s going to be the worst year ever, I just need to get out of this black hole. I can’t continue like this.’
While her diagnosis was initially daunting, the goalkeeper says it has been a weight off her shoulders.
‘It’s been a massive turning point in my life. Don’t get me wrong, it was emotionally draining and once I got the diagnosis I was a bit like “what do I do from here?” I have a label, but that doesn’t really define me.
‘It was really hard for me to take because all my life I thought I was normal but actually I’m completely different and I see life differently.
‘When I was younger I just thought “everyone is like this, I’m thinking the same as everyone else.” But as I got older, it progressively got worse. For me to have to hide it, without knowing I’m hiding it, was stacking on top of me.
Middleton-Patel admits it was emotionally draining to be diagnosed but ultimately beneficial
LEGO Club has been a welcome distraction for Middleton-Patel and her team-mates
‘But I can take a step back and understand why I’ve been struggling in this way, why people have been perceiving you as rude and quite blunt when actually I’m just being honest, I’m just being me. I don’t mean to come across as rude. I don’t mean to break down when you tell me something has changed in my routine.
‘It’s also helped my coaches understand me better. I remember being undiagnosed and I couldn’t do a drill without visually seeing it. I would never be able to see it in my head until it’s been done in front of me.
‘Mary [Earps] and Phallon [Tullis-Joyce], they’ll do the drill first, I’ll see it, I’ll understand it and then I’ll go and do it. Sometimes it’s even better for me to push myself out of my comfort zone and do the drills myself and I will struggle, but they understand it’s okay to just take my time.’
The support of team-mates has been crucial for the young goalkeeper. Leah Galton has been reading a book to understand her condition more and the forward, along with Rachel Williams and Jess Simpson, form part of United’s ‘LEGO Club’ – which Middleton-Patel uses as a form of therapy.
‘When I got the diagnosis, one thing I was scared about was people seeing me differently. That’s not been the case at all.
‘We started LEGO Club because I brought it into training as a calming method.
‘When I go to training I know I’m going to be treated right. They just embrace me for who I am.’
The LEGO Club started to gain traction on social media, so much so that United’s sporting director Darren Fletcher noticed and decided to leave them a ‘secret Santa’ gift before Christmas.
‘We all walked in and the PacMan set was there.
‘For me, that is like a dream set. The other girls didn’t quite understand, they were like “oh that’s cool” and I said “no, you don’t understand that’s like a collectable item.”
‘Darren Fletcher just left it under the tree and we were like “who has brought this in?” I dropped him a message to say thank you and he was so supportive.’
England and Man United star Mary Earps has been fully supportive of her team-mate
The goalkeeper has been supported by United but feels a responsibility to speak about her experiences, with the hope of helping others. She also feels there could be more education around autism within the game.
‘People will say “you’re not autistic, you don’t look autistic,” but autism doesn’t have a look. Many people won’t listen and don’t want to understand. They only really listen to stereotypes, which is what I’m trying to break.
‘The spectrum isn’t linear, everyone thinks it is, but I see it almost like a colour wheel because every autistic person is different. I just want to be that role model and show that everyone is different and be that person someone can come to and ask me questions about my experiences because I didn’t have that whilst I was going through it.
‘In the past with some coaches, I haven’t been treated right just because they didn’t understand me.
‘That’s something in the future I want to try and help with and get coaches to understand we’re not all the same, we need to be treated differently.
‘I’ll sit in a team meeting with my sunglasses on. If I did that anywhere else people would think I was being rude or that I didn’t care. But if I don’t have the sunglasses on I will not be taking any of the information in because I have too much sensory stimulus coming from everywhere else, but some people just wouldn’t consider that.
‘It’s definitely something that could be improved to help autistic people want to be in an environment.’
As well as having the LEGO club, the 19-year-old is close to her fellow goalkeepers Earps and Tullis-Joyce – who both support and challenge her.
Middleton-Patel is tipped as a future Wales and Manchester United No 1
‘They’re just great people. Even just watching them, I’m like a fan on the pitch. They’re just great human beings, really nice people to be around and I aspire to be like them.
‘I just love them really, I couldn’t ask for anything better.’
Middleton-Patel has been tipped by several coaches as a future United and Wales No 1 and even a potential FIFA Best winner, like team-mate Earps.
‘I just want to be the best person I can be. If that is being the best goalkeeper in the world, like Mary, then I would love to do that.’
Read More: World News | Entertainment News | Celeb News
Mail Online
