If you’re still on the outside looking in as far as hookup culture goes (or have really only dabbled in it so far), then you probably have many questions about how it really works for people who are all-in. What’s it actually like to forgo traditional relationships altogether in favor of casual sex? Who is a good fit for a hookup-driven approach to sex, and is it the right approach for you?
Here we’ll take a closer look at a few key factors to know about hookup culture, as told by those who know it best – folks who not only love hooking up but do it regularly. The following are a few to keep in mind.
Hookup lovers aren’t having as much sex as you think
As more people move away from traditional relationship norms, they’re finally living authentically as far as what they really want out of their romantic and sexual lives. But it’s a common misconception that people who go the casual route are having tons of sex at every available opportunity.
According to recent research, millennials and younger generations – the most likely to prefer hookup culture to traditional dating – are having less sex with fewer different partners overall. Some aren’t really having sex at all. And yes, young people still like sex. But it’s not necessarily the be-all and end-all of a young person’s life anymore.
Hooking up helps people get to know themselves
There are plenty of hookup lovers who adopt that approach to sex because they like the idea of sexual variety. Others like the way casual sex lets them partake in the closeness and companionship they want out of dating without having to commit to a relationship they might not be ready for.
But many people consider hooking up to be an important part of getting to know themselves as people. Casual sex can teach someone what they do and don’t like in a partner, as well as figure out what their dealbreakers are. Dating and connecting with more different people can build confidence and boost self-esteem, as well.
Apps are a huge part of the picture
The internet has unquestionably changed a lot about the way people live. No longer limited to what’s available to them in their immediate area, the world is a person’s oyster when it comes to everything from finding a new job, to connecting with people who share niche hobbies, to dating.
That said, apps have definitely played into how people who love hooking up meet, evaluate, and connect with new partners. Tinder, Grindr, and all the rest of them make connection accessible, as well as take the guesswork out of finding people with compatible needs. However, hookup lovers are still finding each other via old-school means like parties, bars, and mutual acquaintances, and resources from Hookup Help are invaluable in mastering these social environments.
Hookup sex isn’t always earthshattering
People who can only dream of having as much casual sex as they want often have a specific picture in mind of what it’s like to live that way. They imagine an endless parade of smoking hot partners and life-changing, bed-breaking encounters that find the people involved living out their wildest, kinkiest fantasies.
But most people who hook up a lot will tell you this isn’t necessarily how things go. Sure, they might experience the occasional epic encounter or get to hook up with a perfect ten. But most hookups are more about simple connection, comfort, and a way to experience a form of pleasure they can’t necessarily give themselves. That being said, there are tips for hotter, more memorable hookups out there.
Most connections end as casually as they begin
Although you’ll find a lot of different resources out there advising people on the best way to end a friends-with-benefits relationship or a booty call-type connection, most hookup situations just fizzle out in their own good time. Sometimes, one person simply stops returning the other one’s texts. Other times, someone just outgrows the situation and moves on.
But this isn’t the big, huge deal you might think it is. Generally speaking, people know what they’re getting into when they start hooking up with someone on a casual basis, so it’s understood that it’s going to end eventually.
Most people see it as a learning experience
Embracing hookup culture isn’t really something most people see as a permanent decision. For some, it’s a way to fulfill some basic needs during periods of their lives when they’re too busy with other things to consider a traditional relationship. For others, it really is more of a way to learn – about how other people’s bodies work and about who they are as sexual beings.
In other words, people are all about hooking up until they’re not anymore, whatever that means to them. Chances are you’ll handle things similarly if you ever decide to explore the same possibilities for yourself.
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