Everton supporters are accustomed to keeping a calculator close.
In this season of deducted points and financial irregularities it comes in handy, and at Stamford Bridge it helped them keep up with the score as Cole Palmer left their defence in tatters and the goal difference took some heavy damage.
Rampant Palmer scored four, the first three before half an hour had elapsed and the fourth, to make it 5-0 from the penalty spot to reach 20 goals in the Premier League. He has scored 11 goals in his last five home games.
For Chelsea, victory made it five out of five on Monday nights this season, but could not complete the occasion without further embarrassment, as players bickered over who should take the penalty.
Noni Madueke won it, although the award was dubious since James Tarkowski seemed to win the ball, and he wanted to take it. So did Nicolas Jackson, who had scored the fourth of the night, just before half time.
Cole Palmer moved joint-top of the Premier League goalscoring standings as Chelsea breezed past Everton on Monday
The 21-year-old had netted a perfect hat-trick within half an hour at Stamford Bridge before adding a fourth from 12 yards
Then Palmer stepped forward and took the ball, supported by captain Conor Gallagher.
The home crowd booed as Jackson refused to retreat quietly. Even after Palmer had beaten Jordan Pickford from the spot, the centre forward had to be reminded by Madueke to go and congratulate the scorer. Something he did very reluctantly.
Otherwise, it was a wonderful night for Mauricio Pochettino, capped by a popular sixth by Alfie Gilchrist, as his team closed in on the European places, with a game in hand on Manchester United in seventh, and solid home form.
The Chelsea boss may also have stumbled into his best attacking balance, although few will be as accommodating as Everton on their first outing since their second points penalty of the season, and for whom injury was added to insult when Jarrad Branthwaite and Nathan Patterson both went off injured.
On Sunday, they will face relegation rivals Nottingham Forest and this hammering means both sides go into the game at Goodison Park on the same goal difference. Sean Dyche has six days to patch up their battered confidence as well as battered bodies.
Chelsea took no time to settle into their very own brand of high-speed mayhem. They were a blur of royal blue. Fast and threatening, always looking to go forward on the attack. Although seldom with a great deal of composure. Not unless they were able to get Palmer onto the ball in advanced areas, around the fringes of the Everton penalty area.
The talisman combined with Nicolas Jackson before producing a sublime finish to put his side in front after 13 minutes
The hosts dominated proceedings in the early going and just minutes after firing Chelsea in front Palmer nodded in a second
A calamitous error from Jordan Pickford saw the England goalkeeper’s misplaced pass allow Palmer to add a third goal
With Dominic Calvert-Lewin out injured, his deputy Beto managed to put the ball in the net but he was ruled offside
Nicolas Jackson then netted a fourth for the Blues to pile the misery on Sean Dyche’s struggling side before half-time
At the other end, they performed on a knife-edge, determined to pass it out from deep inside their own six-yard box, rarely with a great deal of assuredness. There were early mistakes in possession. Malo Gusto kicked one out carelessly for a corner and Beto allowed the first chance of the game skid away off his shin.
It was not an easy chance but tempting to wonder whether things might have been different had it gone in.
Once Chelsea took the lead, they never looked back. Palmer started the move and finished it for the opening goal. First, a cheeky nutmeg, through the legs of Branthwaite, then a link up with Jackson, who supplied the return pass.
Palmer beat Jordan Pickford effortlessly with from the edge of the box with his left foot and almost scored again within a couple of minutes, unable to turn a cross from Madueke into an open goal with his thigh. Instead, it bounced behind him.
The miss looked less costly when he stretched the lead with his second of the night. This time, he was alert, detecting the opportunity when Pickford parried a shot by Jackson, turned on goal after a piercing run down the left by Mykhailo Mudryk
That was 2-0 and Everton’s promising start already seemed a long time ago. Palmer started to roll through his party pieces. There was a no-look volley in midfield. Perhaps that was the flash of skill to prompt the reducer from James Garner, which earned him a yellow card.
Chelsea’s playmaker appeared unshaken, however, and picked himself up to complete his hat-trick. Again, with another wonderful example of his intelligence and appreciation of all the moving parts of a football game.
It was Pickford’s error on the ball and a gift. Everton’s goalkeeper collected a pass from Branthwaite and tried to thread a pass down the centre of the pitch to Amadou Onana. Palmer read it, eased across and clipped the ball back over Pickford and into an open goal from 35 yards.
This one with his right foot, to go with the left footer and the header. It was a perfect hat trick inside 16 perfect minutes for Pochettino who was without Enzo Fernandez and Raheem Sterling among various others and could not have hoped for a more comprehensive first half.
Everton responded with a flurry. There were opportunities. Beto, leaping in his salmon shirt, found the net but had strayed offside and the flag went up without hesitation. Another ball flashed dangerously across the Chelsea goal. The home team were certainly not secure at the back but they were by no means as vulnerable as their visitors, who were four down by half time.
There was dissent among the ranks after referee Paul Tierney pointed to the spot following a foul on Palmer
Blues captain Conor Gallagher intervened to restore order and Palmer stepped up to keep his perfect record from the spot
Academy graduate Alfie Gilchrist netted his first goal for the club after coming off the bench to complete the rout
Jackson scored the fourth, gathering a cross from Marc Cucurella with a fabulous touch as it arrived just behind him, then spinning to finish with his second touch.
Dyche made three changes at half time and Everton returned in positive mood but it did not last.
Palmer should have stretched the lead when released by Mudryk. Pickford saved with his feet. Then came the penalty and the pathetic squabble. Followed by a standing ovation for four-goal Palmer and Gilchrist’s first goal of his young career.
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