Der Sitzpinkler, pronounced like this, is a practical and hilarious German compound word that combines sitzen ‘to sit’ and Pinkler ‘pisser’ (from pinkeln ‘to pee’).
The term is typically reserved for men, and male-bodied people, who choose to take a seat when they urinate.
See also Sitzpisser.
Why do I need to know ‘Sitzpinkler’?
This one is perhaps most likely to come up at the pub among men who’ve let the conversation drift toward life’s more grotesque and banal questions: how do you position yourself when you pee?
But Sitzpinkler is also an insult in German. If you mean to call someone a wuss, or imply that they are effeminate and pampered in a derogatory way (with the added sting of a grade-school insult), then you can call them a Sitzpinkler.
By the way, while you’re at it, you may as well call them a Warmduscher (a warm showerer) and a Schattenparker (a shade parker) as well.
Who pees sitting down?
Despite its use as an insult, sitting down to urinate happens to be a very common habit among German men – and there is sufficient data to back this up.
“Standing up – wrong. Sitting down – right.” A sign urges guests to sit down to pee in a cafe restroom in Berlin. Photo by Paul Krantz
British data analytics firm YouGov, “conducted a 13-country study on men’s peeing preferences internationally” which confirmed that German men are by far the most likely to be Sitzpinklers.
According to the YouGov poll, 62 percent of German men sit down to pee ‘most times’, with 40 percent saying they sit down to pee ‘every time’. Only 10 percent of German men say they ‘never’ do.
40% of German men!? 👏 👏 👏
I found this article and there’s even a German word for it: Sitzpinkler. https://t.co/dN44QbUQHS pic.twitter.com/aXIAEGLckU
— Celia (@CeliaBedelia) May 6, 2024
In comparison, men in the US or the UK are largely opposed to the idea, with more than 30 percent of men in each country saying they never sit down, and only about 10 percent sitting each time.
Incidentally, perhaps the wildest finding of the above poll is that four to six percent of men in each country ‘don’t know’ if they sit or stand when they pee. Perhaps this partially explains the state of public restrooms.
A brief defence of thrown sitters
Coming from the US myself, I can confirm that the idea to make a practice of sitting for a pee at home never really occurred to me until I came to Germany.
I had moved into a shared flat, and on the topic of house cleaning duties, a German suggested that if we all sat down on the toilet, it would generally stay cleaner. I didn’t resist – I’ll try anything once – and now I’ve joined team Sitpinkler.
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I’ve admitted as much to friends from the US and received raised eyebrows, but logically I just can’t condone misting my bathroom floor with urine when I know how easily avoidable it is.
Additionally, there is some research that seating peeing may actually be better for men with prostate and bladder health issues.
But to each their own, I guess.
By the way, stand-up guys need not worry too much. While Germany may be a nation of seated tinklers, the country’s courts have previously ruled in defence of the right to stand up and pee in your own home.
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Use it like this:
Bist du ein Sitzpinkler?
Are you a sit-down pisser?
Du hast Angst!? Sei nicht so ein Sitzpinkler.
You’re scared!? Don’t be such a wimp.
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