Why Can’t I Find a Girlfriend?
Photo by Nayeli Rosales

Dating is difficult, and many people may experience trouble finding the partner of their dreams once they set out to enter the dating pool. 

If you’re having problems finding a girlfriend, chances are you are overlooking major red flags or dealing with other issues that make a long-term relationship unsustainable for you. Our article gives you details surrounding common dating difficulties that might be stopping you from finding a suitable romantic partner.

Reasons for Dating Difficulties

Many individuals experience dating difficulties, and these are nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re having trouble finding a girlfriend, review these items below as a way to troubleshoot your dating experiences and increase your chances of finding a partner.

You Aren’t Sure What You’re Looking For

Sure, you may be looking for a girlfriend, but you need to consider what this might mean for you. Are you searching for someone to travel with, someone to move in with eventually, or are you looking for someone to date more casually before you move to a different state in a year or two? 

It’s important to reflect on what traits you are looking for in a partner, in addition to important relationship items like attachment styles and love languages to help you find the right type of person. Once you’ve found someone with traits that complement yours, you will have an easier time progressing to a more serious relationship.

You’re Dating the Wrong People

Similar to not being sure what you are looking for, you may find yourself dating the wrong people if you aren’t careful about vetting potential partners. We recommend using something like this reverse email lookup that will show you a potential girlfriend’s criminal history and hidden dating profiles.

Focusing on more shallow items like appearance, wealth, and social status may lead to match-ups that aren’t healthy for either partner and relationships that are doomed to fail. Work on this issue by evaluating what you truly find important in a partner and selecting individuals to date based on these criteria.

You Are Trying to Rush a Connection

Having a partner is nice, and if you have been dating for a while, you may be tempted to rush a connection or attempt to force a relationship out of nothing. This should be avoided, as romantic connections can’t be rushed – they need to be built over time with shared experiences. 

Moving too fast or attempting to skip steps solely for the label of “having a girlfriend” may end up with you pushing away potential romantic partners that become wary or prefer to move slower.

You Aren’t Future Focused

A big part of dating and knowing what you want is making up your mind about important future topics, such as marriage, kids, and housing situations. It’s important to date someone with a similar future outlook, as it’s not fair for either partner to expect the other to change their mind based on what their partner wants. 

Additionally, not having the same future expectations may lead to resentment. This resentment will likely set an expiration date on the relationship leading to multiple breakups if you, unfortunately, date someone with different ideals repeatedly. 

Take time to decide what you want and don’t hesitate to make sure you are your potential partner are on the same page as you begin dating.

You’re Struggling With Mental Health Issues

Social anxiety, depression, or a whole host of other mental health issues may make dating hard – and this is nothing to be ashamed about. Sometimes, it takes a little extra effort to deal with the symptoms of these conditions and ensure you are putting the best version of yourself out in the world to find a romantic partner.

If you are struggling with a mental health condition, take time to focus on yourself first. Go to therapy or see a medical professional as needed, and ensure you have a solid treatment plan and support network before you enter into the dating pool.

Finding the Right Partner for You

For many individuals, dating can be stressful and hard to navigate. However, finding the right partner takes time, and you can’t rush a connection or relationship with someone you barely know. 

Take your time when dating, figure out what you want and what is important to your lifestyle, and your future, and vet your potential dating partners based on these traits. You’ll have more successful dates with individuals you already have items in common with, and these will lead to more chances of finding the right partner for you.

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