Why Taylor Swift Fans Think She Was in ‘Denial’ During Joe Alwyn Romance

Taylor Swift is known for planting Easter eggs in everything she does, but did she leave Us a big one about her relationship with now-ex Joe Alwyn?

Swift, 34, dropped a series of playlists on Apple Music on Friday, April 5, all titled after different The Tortured Poets Department variants or songs. Each collection is based on one of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

One playlist is titled “I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life” based on the TTPD song of the same name. (TTPD drops on April 19.)

“This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing red flags, possibly resulting in moments of denial and maybe a little bit of delusion,” Swift quipped in a voice note shared via Apple Music.

Included songs on the playlist are “Lavender Haze,” “Sweet Nothing,” “Lover,” “Betty,” “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince,” “False God,” “Style,” “Ours,” and “Bejeweled.” Many eagle-eyed Swifties were quick to point out that several of the tracks were either about Alwyn, 33, or co-written by him. (Under the pen name William Bowery, Alwyn notably helped Swift write the likes of “Sweet Nothing” and “Betty.”)

Much of Swift’s Lover album — featuring “Lover,” “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” and “False God” — were also penned about her romance with Alwyn. Swift and the Conversations With Friends alum dated between 2016 and 2023. (Since their breakup, Swift has moved on with NFL star Travis Kelce.)

“Taylor Swift putting all her sappiest love songs on a ‘denial’ playlist absolutely ruined my day,” The Originals writer Carina Adly Mackenzie wrote via X on Friday.

Another fan noted, “Taylor Swift revealing that The Tortured Poets Department is about the five stages of grief and that ‘Lover’ was a song written during the denial stage …This woman is really trying to kill me.”

A third social media pointed out that “Lover” falling into the “denial stage is so insane” They wrote via X, “Imagine the greatest love song ever made was a gaslight song? imagine all the weddings who played that? All the couple videos that was edited to?? Taylor Swift, you’re so funny.”

Other Swifties noticed that “Lavender Haze,” a 2022 track from Midnights, was featured in the roundup. The single was also presumably penned about Alwyn.

“I happened upon the phrase ‘lavender haze’ when I was watching Mad Men. I looked it up because I thought it sounded cool,” Swift said in a previous Instagram video of her musical inspirations. “And it turns out that it’s a common phrase used in the ’50s where they would describe being in love. If you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ then that meant you were in that all-encompassing love glow. And I thought that was really beautiful.”

The Grammy winner continued: “I guess, theoretically, when you’re in the ‘lavender haze,’ you’ll do anything to stay there. And not let people bring you down off of that cloud. I think that a lot of people have to deal with this now, not just like ‘public figures,’ because in the era of social media, and if the world finds out you’re in love with somebody they’re gonna weigh in on it.”

Swift deleted the social media explainer in May 2023, one month after news broke that she had split from Alwyn.

“Taylor deleting the post explaining ‘Lavender Haze’ because she was just being in denial is so sad,” one social media user posited via X on Friday.

Other Apple Music playlists include “You Don’t Get to Tell Me About Sad Songs,” “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart,” “Old Habits Die Screaming” and “Am I Allowed to Cry?”

While none of her TTPD songs are currently included on the playlists, the album will drop in 13 days — Swift’s lucky number — and is a “fortnight” — a TTPD duet with Post Malone — away.