Falling for the Chalmers offensive

Please let us know if this is too much information: “I am a very elderly widow and last night I had a mildly romantic dream about Jim Chalmers,” discloses Coral Button of North Epping. “Not sure if it was his looks or his fiscal policy that caused it, but don’t tell me that man hasn’t got IT!”

The provider of the treasurer’s “hospital pass” gets a little less love from Tony Hughes of Varsity Lakes (Qld): “Reserve Bank governor Michele Bullock commented on Tuesday at the monthly announcement on interest rates that she ‘went to fill up my car the other day and got an absolute shock!’ Was she driving a Tesla?”

“My wife, Shirley, had a similar problem to that of Jim Filshie (C8), in that, notwithstanding she followed the instructions when attempting to pay one of the newfangled meters, she received a fine claiming that she hadn’t paid,” writes Craig Lilienthal of Wollstonecraft. “We objected to the claim as our credit card clearly demonstrated to the contrary. She was excused but told ‘not to let it happen again’. One month later, we received another, failure to pay notice and once more our credit card confirmed otherwise. We repeated the objection and received a new notice stating that she now ‘had form’ and would not be let off again. Do parking meters have a built-in sense of humour?” No, but that is a joke.

’Twas Jim Pollitt of Wahroonga who pondered: “Methinks our esteemed editor has been channelling P.G. Wodehouse with the reporting of an ‘elaborate jape’ (C8). How about a ‘cunning ploy’ or ‘awesome scam’? More 21st century, perhaps?”

Speaking of said jape, Lance Rainey of Rushforth remarks, “Concerning leading people on about metric conversions of their surnames, there were also some bright sparks who had their elders convinced that the ‘metric day’ was coming next: 10 ‘mours’ of 100 ‘menutes’ each and each ‘menute’ 100 ‘meconds’ long. It actually sounded plausible.”

Roger Epps of Armidale adds: “Some were disappointed when metric time was left out from the conversion. I guess the quandary was whether the weekend would remain two days or become a regular long weekend.”

John Kratovil of Randwick sees it as a lost opportunity: “Not only would Australia have been leading the way, but we could have cornered the market on 10-hour clocks and watches. Perhaps it’s not too late?”

Column8@smh.com.au

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