Former DWTS Pro Shares Heartbreaking Truth After Sudden Loss

Heavy/ABC Allison Holker says she’d never cried in front of people before tWitch’s death.

Former “Dancing With the Stars” pro Allison Holker did a candid interview ahead of her return to “So You Think You Can Dance.” The seasoned dancer spoke a bit about her healing process after losing her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss, who died by suicide in December 2022.

At the time, Holker had just turned 36-years-old and she’d never gone through something as traumatic and life changing. That said, Holker realized that she’d never cried in front of anyone as an adult.

“I realized that no one had ever really seen me cry, not even my kids. My children hadn’t really seen me be vulnerable. I knew it was going to be a really big thing for me to show them that kind of emotion because I always sat behind closed doors. But there’s something so beautiful about being vulnerable, even when you’re in public spaces. I’m learning that now,” Holker told Glamour.

Now, Holker says she has been more open to showing her raw emotions and sharing those moments with her kids. She has an older daughter, Weslie, from a previous relationship, and younger two children, Maddox, 7, and Zaia, 3, whom she welcomed with tWitch.

Here’s what you need to know:

Allison Holker Admitted That ‘Grief Never Ends’

As Holker continues to put herself back out there and is slowly but surely getting back to enjoying life again, she also recognizes that the healing process will continue on.

“Grief never ends .. but every season of challenge has an expiration date. Keep believing and keep dancing through,” she captioned an Instagram post on December 2, 2023.

Meanwhile, in her interview with Glamour, Holker noted that she’s really been finding herself through these challenging times.

“I also tell myself that every season–whether it’s good or bad—has an expiration date. And if you can just get past those hard moments, you’ll find yourself. Plus, even the gray area is beautiful,” she said, echoing her Instagram post.

“I knew my purpose growing up was always to be a beacon of love and joy through dance. Now it’s much different,” she added. Holker said that she has the “same purpose” even though she feels it’s “deeper and means so much more.”

“Now I can use my words as well,” she added.

Allison Holker Is Open to Finding Love Again

Holker remains focused on herself and her kids, she’s not completely closing the door on romantic love.

On the January 18, 2024, episode of “The Viall Files” podcast, host Nick Viall asked the former DWTS pro if she thought about dating.

“I think the first thing I had to do for myself this last year, a big thing, cuz it was hard, it was very hard for me to learn to like myself again, to learn to love myself,” she responded.

“It’s a very complex situation I found myself in. At the end of the day I love life,” she continued, adding, “I feel like for me, the kind of life I like to live, the outlook I have on life, it took me a long time to accept all of those things.”

Holker admitted that she wouldn’t “shy away” from a potential shot at love, but also said that she’s not putting herself out there just yet.

READ NEXT: ‘Traitors’ Season 2 Star Wants to Compete on DWTS & Fans Are Excited