The Oppenheimer household was not the most child-friendly place. Kitty Puening — who struggled with alcoholism and depression — did nothing to hide her dislike for her son, Peter. Her relationship with her daughter was better — at least in Toni’s younger years. “She wanted only good and happiness for Toni. She really was just intolerable with Peter,” J. Robert Oppenheimer’s secretary Verna Hobson said in a 1979 interview with historian Martin J. Sherwin.

However, Toni found it increasingly difficult to deal with Kitty’s addiction, and their relationship took a turn in her adolescence. “Toni and her mother were at each other’s throats all the time,” a friend described, according to the Atomic Heritage Foundation. Peter, who was never a good student, left home after high school and worked as a carpenter. After J. Robert’s 1967 death, he retreated to his father’s New Mexico ranch, where he has stayed out of the public eye.

“You’d come into the Oppenheimer kitchen, and Peter would be a shadow … trying not to be noticed,” Bob Serber said in the book “American Prometheus.” Toni also opted for seclusion. In 1969, her application for a United Nations translator job was rejected because of her father’s revoked security clearance 15 years earlier. Toni then moved to her family’s old home in the Virgin Islands and, in 1977, died by suicide.

If you or anyone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 or by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255)​.

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Nicki

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